Adventures in Irony

ESPN writers sure have a knack for publishing ironic articles. Yesterday before the Rays/Sox game, I read a piece that David Schoenfield wrote titled, “These Rays in big, big trouble.” It included the following:

As miserable as the Red Sox have played so far, at least they can look at a lineup that includes Adrian Gonzalez, Kevin Youkilis, Carl Crawford, Dustin Pedroia and David Ortiz and know — eventually — they’re going to score a lot of runs.

The fans of the Tampa Bay Rays, however, are staring down a lineup that includes Triple-A veteran Dan Johnson hitting cleanup, Cubs castoff Sam Fuld hitting leadoff and 37-year-old Johnny Damon trying to hold off the cruelties of age.

It should be obvious that the team he thinks has a way better offense scored 5 runs last night (which is fairly average), while the team he thinks has a way worse offense scored 16 (which is fairly average x 3). Anyway, I already told you that “Cubs castoff Sam Fuld” consciously declined a cycle tonight while also knocking in three runs and scoring another two himself. Old Man Damon went 3-5 with three RBI and two runs.

As for “Triple-A veteran Dan Johnson,” I would like to point out that he has hit 52 home runs in 1252 career at-bats (at the Major League level, not AAA) for a 24.07 AB/HR ratio. Notable players who have a worse ratio:

  • Adrian Beltre
  • Vernon Wells
  • Kevin Youkilis
  • Grady Sizemore
  • Raul Ibanez
  • Al Kaline
  • Harold Baines
  • Carl Yastrzemski
  • Miguel Tejada
  • Rogers Hornsby
  • Bobby Abreu
  • Victor Martinez
  • Jorge Cantu
  • Robinson Cano
  • Ivan Rodriguez
  • Brandon Inge
  • George Brett
  • Nick Markakis
  • Joe Morgan
  • Jackie Robinson
  • Joe Mauer
  • Michael Young
  • Roberto Clemente

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