Author Archives: sethstutman

About sethstutman

Hello, I am a 25 year old broadcast journalist who is also a sports nut. When not online and looking for jobs, I love to scuba dive, write comedy and improvise. Check out my website... I also write with my friend, Lee Waterhouse... Greetings, My name is Lee Waterhouse. I am 24 and in graduate school at the University of Massachusetts. If you happen to work at a school needing an English teacher, then I am your man. I love the Red Sox, hate the Yankees, and enjoy skiing and hiking. Unlike Seth, I have no personal website. I'm not that self-absorbed...

Portland Sea Dogs Time

As the current owner of a Portland Sea Dogs Press Pass, I will be bringing you updates and opinions on the Sea Dogs, the AA team for the Red Sox.

This mid-week, the Dogs (5-7) took on the New Britain Rock Cats(7-6), an affiliate of the Minnesota Twins.


– Will Middlebrooks is a stud.  he’s got the tools to make it and the looks to be a playboy in Boston (ala Jacoby).  Last night he was up and down, making a great catch on a liner well above his head, but also misplaying a grounder later in the game.  Here’s his scouting report from where he is rated #13:

“Excellent five-tool athlete. Great baseball frame with very quick wrists. Open stance, holds his hands high above his head. Has had some struggles with pitch recognition, but has made ample strides, reducing his strikeout rates. Getting the bat on the ball is still a concern. Slowly improving his previous tendency to over-pull the ball. Still very inconsistent. High power potential, but only average present power. Above-average speed for a third baseman. In the field, Middlebrooks is an excellent third baseman. Reliable glove, a rocket arm, and above-average range. Played both shortstop and third base in high school – the Sox initially thought of utilizing Middlebrooks as a short, but he has strictly played third as a pro. Hard worker.”

– Ryan Lavarnway C/DH runs like a funny and slow old man.  He is however, a potential impact player on offense and the #12 rated prospect at

– Seth Garrison P is one of my favorite players for both his name (mine) and age (two months older than me).  He was on last night with two K’s to get out of a jam.

More on Hadlock Field and the ‘Sea Dogs Experience’ soon…


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Buffon Of The Day: Porn Heist

In Lincoln, Nebraska (where else) a family just got a little bit weirder.  20-year-old Nathaniel Atkinson was arrested for robbery at an adult store – where his SISTER worked.  He claims that he did it because he is addicted to gambling and his sister never recognized him – he wore a mask and socks on his hands (where he got the socks from I don’t want to know.

This bozo was caught while robbing another guy that he met on Craigslist and was sentenced t0 16-32 months in prison.

View The Bozo

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Buffoon Of The Day

In Martin County, Florida last week, police saw a black, four door Ford that was swerving.  When police stopped the car, they found a drunk woman, NUDE, who looked like she’d been crying.

46-year-old Charlene Johnson of Okeechobee, Florida was arrested for driving under the influence after it was found that her BAC was twice the limit.  Inside her Ford, police also found 46.5 grams of marijuana and several prescription pills. Why the nudity?  Johnson told police that her and her boyfriend had just been a fight, which made her strip as she left his home.  Weird.

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Meatloaf: Crazier Than Busey

Meatloafs man boobs were shaking like a Bat Out Of Hell last night on Celebrity Apprentice. He had to be restrained from going after space cadet Gary Busey! The censors had to Take The Words Right Out Of His Mouth and replace them with beeps about 40 times. It’s crazy vs. crazy on prime time!!! Click here to see!!

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Mugshot of the Day: Walken Or Wierdo?

All this kidnapping needed was more cowbell:  a 19-year-old girl from Ryder University was nearly abducted by a man who looked alarmingly like television and film star Christopher Walken.

68-year-old Tony Kadyhrob tried to lure this girl into his car (I am assuming a windowless van) and ended up being arrested for attempting to entice an adult into a vehicle.  Check out the side-by-side of Tony and Walken.

 Check Out This Creep

Creepy Tony

“You Tell That Mean Ocean.”

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Are The Olsen Twins Racist?

Granted, this scene we found from the straight-to-DVD release  “To Grandmother’s House We Go” is taken completely out of context and is from when Mary-Kate & Ashley were toddlers, but it’s STILL pretty sketchy.  Watch Them Steriotype!

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10 Old School Cell Phone Commercials

<img title=”Cell” src=”” alt=”” width=”385″ height=”240″ />
If you think that your flip phone is old, check out these ancient commercials (and by ancient, I mean 1990s).  There are ten of them and they get better and better.  Enjoy your trip down memory lane.

<!–nextpage Watch and Remember–>

<!–nextpage Keep Going!–>

<!–nextpage Radio Shack’s Attempt–>

<!–nextpage Sleezy 90s–>

<!–nextpage Watch GE’s Massive Phone–>

<!–nextpage So Bad It’s Good–>

<!–nextpage Remember the 90s?–>

<!–nextpage Watch and Remember–>

<!–nextpage So Bad, It’s Good–>

<!–nextpage Last One!–>

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