Category Archives: Buffoons

Old friend Carl Everett arrested

Former Red Sox centerfielder and umpire-headbutting extraordinaire Carl Everett has been arrested in Lutz, Florida for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon by putting a handgun to his wife’s head. He seems to have a head fetish. He’s also been charged with tampering with a witness. Glad to see retirement has been treating Carl well. Stay in jail Carl.


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Genius? Or super-genius?

Out of the countless crazy ideas on the internet, this seems the most plausible in terms of ability to implement and in getting away with speeding.

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Breaking: Manny Ramirez Retires

In what is obviously the big baseball story of the day, Manny Ramirez has decided to retire. Here’s the MLB statement on the matter:

“Major League Baseball recently notified Manny Ramirez of an issue under Major League Baseball’s Joint Drug Prevention and Treatment program. Rather than continue with the process under the program, Ramirez has informed MLB that he is retiring as an active player. If Ramirez seeks reinstatement in the future, the process under the drug program will be completed. MLB will not have any further comment on this matter.”

Michael Schmidt of the New York Times reports that people with knowledge of the matter said Manny has tested positive for a PED during spring training (though the MLB has not stated he has tested positive), and Manny has thus chosen to retire instead of taking a 100-game suspension.

As a Rays fan, this is obviously even bigger news to me than to general baseball fans. Manny was supposed to fill our DH hole reasonably well, and we got him at the bargain barrel price of $2 million. He had started off the season mired in a slump, but he did have a great spring training (though apparently we now know why). Plus, Manny wouldn’t have stayed in that slump for much longer, as he would soon regress back to the mean (i.e. his hitting would improve back to his normal line).

This is a blow to an already spotty start for the 0-6 Rays who also won’t have Longoria back for another couple weeks. Losing your 3 and 4 hitters at the same time is tough to overcome, but I think the game-plan now is to move Johnny Damon to the DH spot and put either Sam Fuld, who’s been excelling so far this season, or top prospect Desmond Jennings into the LF position. Neither of those two are as good offensively as Manny is, but you do what you can. The Rays have also promoted 1B Casey Kotchman to fill Manny’s vacated spot on the roster.

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Is this serious?

0-5. I do not fault Dice K. He pitches the only way he knows how: frustratingly. His last 3 innings tonight were actually surprisingly tolerable when compared with his first 2.

As good as the bullpen looked last night, they looked the exact opposite of that tonight. I honestly think I could have been a more serviceable pitcher than Dennys Reyes. 3 batters: 2 HBP and one 4 pitch walk. His “effort” tonight really shows how far Okajima had to fall to end up in AAA. I wonder if Felix Doubront would have been the go to lefty this season if he hadn’t hurt his arm during spring training. He certainly was good at the end of last season.

At first I didn’t want to blame Dan Wheeler for how the rest of the inning shook out. As I scrutinized him more closely, he was missing where ‘Tek was set up. He allowed all of the runners to score that Reyes put on base plus one more on the home run he gave up. Ridiculous.

I know it is way too early to call for anyone to be fired, but the performance of the pitching staff so far has planted the seed in my brain that pitching coach Curt Young won’t make it until June if this keeps up.

Let’s hear your thoughts and frustrations.


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Good Thing You Aren’t Dating His Daughter

Police say that some angry father created Old West themed “WANTED” posters offering a prize of $3,000 for someone to deliver him his daughter’s boyfriend. ¬†Police wouldn’t have been so upset…had he not written “dead or alive.”

Domingos Oliveira, 50, of Spring Valley, California hung these posters for two weeks around Grossmont College in El Cajon, California, where his daughter goes. ¬†He wrote on the photos that the boyfriend is a sex offender…which normally would be offensive, BUT HE IS AN ACTUAL SEX OFFENDER.
Domingos was arrested for solicitation for murder, and there is no word on the happy couple.

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Buffoon of The Day

One of our “best” defense lawyers?

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